Christmas Insight

I did something very strange yesterday. It was Christmas and I didn’t call anyone. I could have, but I just didn’t. I realize our worlds are very separated. I do not wish to force myself in to theirs. I am learning they do not connect with mine unless I am with them.

I grieved the loss of my family for many years and Christmas phone calls were a very painful process. I always felt like crying as I talked to my kids. Christmas is a time when I have to face how much I miss them.

Now I am realizing our opportunities to be together are going to be very limited unless they learn to travel to me. Next May, with the Real Cards becoming required, they will have a hard time leaving the country.

I know where the world is headed, but I don’t know how to get my friends and family up to speed. Spirit will have to do that and I can only await the results. There is great sadness growing in me about the suffering so many I love will endure.

So how was this Christmas? Actually, it was wonderful. In past years I had felt the sting of the absence of gifts. I knew I was breaking with the commercialism associated with Christmas, but I must admit, gifts are nice.

Yesterday, I was gifted with special things. My “need list” is now missing laptop speakers and new music. I also traveled to a magical place in the days just before the holiday. Christmas was wonderful this year. Joy and sadness, but no tears. ET

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Published in: on December 26, 2007 at 5:49 pm  Leave a Comment  

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